I believe every woman has the ability to be the authors of their own lives. I believe every woman is worthy and deserving of an extraordinary life.
As women, we deal with a lot of pressures brought to us from various influences – including, but not limited to our society, our culture, our family, and our friends. These expectations slowly creep up on us, and without even realizing it, they detrimentally become our truths, and we become our own worst enemy by trying to incorporate it into our own story.
Three years ago, I attributed success with marriage. As a woman who was on the brink of turning 30, I felt inadequate as a single woman – even though I was successful in everything else. I let my inner critic chip away at my self-esteem, and I began to question my faith, and my worthiness.
I felt left behind, for no other reason then the fact that my parents got married when they were twenty-five, and all my friends were either married, engaged, or in serious relationships. I was the victim in a story that didn’t belong to me.
What we know matters, but who we are matters more. – Brené Brown
After a lot of soul searching, and going back to church, I knew it was time to own my story, and focus on a new chapter – one that served me better, and one that was a true reflection of who I was – not who I thought I should be.
The truth is, my story is compiled of many blessings – none of which I focused on when I was busy playing the role of a damsel in distress. However, when I shifted my focus on the relationship I had with myself, and the relationship I had with God, I became happier, more at peace, and a lot more grateful. For me, owning my story meant letting go of control. It didn’t mean that I was giving up on love – it just meant that I didn’t have to try so hard. I was enough. The more I worked on self-love, the less I thought about marriage.
One month after my last post here on WordPress, I met the man of my dreams, and five months ago, I married him. Just like in God’s love letter, God had a master plan – one that I didn’t understand at the time, but a design far greater than the one I had for myself.
Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do – Brené Brown
No matter what influences surround us, we must be able to differentiate which stories lift us up, and which ones debilitate us. More importantly, we need to be consciously aware of who’s story we’re participating in – is it ours, or is it the story of others that became our own?
So in 2017, whoever may be reading this – I encourage you to dig deep and write a story that is true to who you are – starting from a place with a lot of love and faith that you are deserving of your own happily ever after.